(theme music playing)
NARRATOR: Man lives in the sunlit world
of what he believes to be reality.
But... there is,
unseen by most, an underworld.
A place that is just as real
but not as brightly lit.
A dark side.
(alarm buzzing)
Let's see what kind of day this is going to be.
(clicks remote)
Oh!
I know I put two packs in here last night.
Come on.
(clicks)
(clicking)
Oh, come on.
(clicks)
Am I crazy, or did I buy two packs last night,
put them in there?
Except I didn't put them in there
because they're not there.
So what did I do with the carton?
(clicks)
I know what's the matter with me this morning.
I've got to get my heart started without having a cigarette.
(clicking)
What's the matter with you?
(clears throat)
No hot water.
No cigarettes.
No Jane Pauley.
Maybe I should just go back to bed.
(percolating)
(sighs)
Oh!
On the windowsill.
It's not possible.
(phone clatters to floor)
This isn't my apartment.
This is a cage!
MAN: Congratulations, Mr. Bigalow.
You have just managed to reason out the very obvious.
Once you've given up tobacco,
you'll find your mind works
much more clearly in the morning.
I don't really think I'm dreaming.
I'm not a dream, Mr. Bigalow.
This isn't my room.
We've already established that.
There are bars on the windows, and they're not even real windows.
You put lights outside to make it look like daylight.
You've got bars on the doors.
I can't believe it-- it's a prison!
It's not a prison, Mr. Bigalow.
It's a simulacrum.
A simulacrum of your own apartment.
I don't care what you call it.
If I can't get out of it, it's a prison.
Well, you can leave
just as soon as you give up smoking.
(chuckles)
This is some sort of joke, right?
Who are you?
What's going on here?
Where is this place?!
As I said before, Mr. Bigalow.
you can leave just as soon as you give up smoking.
I have to give up smoking!
I can't find my cigarettes!
Look in your bedside table.
Light. I don't have a light.
Mr. Bigalow?
(inhaling, exhaling)
(alarm droning)
(high-pitched electronic tone blaring)
FEMALE VOICE: Please put out the cigarette.
Once the cigarette has been extinguished,
the punishment will cease.
Please put out the cigarette.
Once the cigarette has been...
(tone stops blaring)
FEMALE VOICE: Thank you, caller number one.
Good morning, caller number two.
The subject today is household pets that smoke.
MAN: Caller number one has a good memory,
but his story about his dog was very boring.
I am much more interested in finding out
how much money is spent each year
in this country on smoking-related...
I don't like your propaganda.
My mother told me that there
is a direct connection between smoking...
(broadcast stops)
(chuckling)
(sighs)
(alarm droning)
(high-pitched electronic tone blaring)
FEMALE VOICE: Please put out the cigarette. (loud buzzing)
Once the cigarette has been extinguished,
the punishment will cease.
Please put out the cigarette.
Once....
(all noises stop)
What punishment?
¶ ¶
(man clearing throat)
Developing a little willpower, Mr. Bigalow.
You can't do this.
It's totally against the law.
No, it's not.
What's that?
Your signature.
What did I sign?
You contacted our clinic and signed up for our program.
I did not!
Denial isn't going to get you anywhere, Mr. Bigalow.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
(sighs)
You the people that advertise on television?
You remember now, Mr. Bigalow.
I remember sending in for some information once,
but I... I got very paranoid.
My father died of lung cancer.
And you thought you'd be next.
Yeah, something like that.
But I never heard from you again.
We have a waiting list, Mr. Bigalow.
A long waiting list.
And we haven't been able to accommodate you till now.
(sighs)
How did I get here?
Oh.
You don't remember what happened last night?
I don't like this.
I don't like this one little bit.
Just think of this experience
as bad-tasting medicine, Mr. Bigalow.
And think how much better you'll feel
once you're allowed to leave.
When will that be?
When depends entirely on you, Mr. Bigalow.
What's the success rate?
100%.
You're joking.
Our methods are foolproof.
We've even patented our procedure.
There is only one way out of here,
and that's to give up smoking.
(sighs)
(white noise)
(thudding)
¶ ¶
MALE VOICE: Hey, hey, anybody there?
Somebody's there. I hear ya.
Who are you?
It's Bigalow.
Frank Bigalow.
Who are you?
My name's Matthews.
Pleased to make your acquaintance.
You were on the radio.
The one talking about his mother.
They made me do that.
They gave me a script to read.
They bribed me with three cigarettes.
You got any cigarettes?
Yeah, I got one.
Ugh, it's broken.
Give it to me.
It's my last one.
Do you have any matches?
Yeah.
No, it's gone.
Then how are you gonna light your cigarette?
I've got matches, but I need a cigarette.
Give me your cigarette and I'll give you the match.
It's a terrible trade.
What do I need a cigarette for if I don't have a match?
They'll give you cigarettes later. That's how they work.
Is it a trade or not?
(sighs)
Yeah, I guess so.
Pretend you want to give it up.
What?
This is the interview.
Dr. Synapsis.
(clears throat)
Pretend you want to give it up.
It's the only way to fight 'em.
How much do you smoke, Mr. Bigalow?
Three packs a day.
The psychological profile analysis
we prepared for you, Mr. Bigalow, indicates
that you took up smoking at the age of 15.
Yes.
In fact, Mr. Bigalow,
here is a photograph of you at the age of 15.
You look like a teenager with a cigarette
dangling from his lips.
I want to give it up.
You're saying this merely because you want
to leave the simulacrum.
But it's true, whether I get out or not,
I'm not gonna smoke anymore.
I don't want to ever have another cigarette
as long as I live.
I mean it.
That's a good attitude to take, Mr. Bigalow.
A promising attitude.
MATTHEWS: It's a trap.
BIGALOW: The alarm's turned off.
As soon as you touch those cigarettes,
it'll come back on again.
What the hell difference does it make?
I've lost everything in the room anyway.
Everything's gone.
What could the next punishment possibly be, anyway?
I know how to short-circuit the smoke alarm.
Tell me how.
Give me the cigarettes in there, and I will.
If I give you all the cigarettes,
what the hell difference does it make
if the alarm is disconnected or not?
You can keep one.
You have to give me all the rest.
Can I keep two?
One.
All right, tell me how to do it.
Matthews?
Matthews!
(beeping)
Give 'em back! Give 'em back!
You're part of this! You're trying to drive me crazy!
(buzzing and beeping)
Matthews!
(screaming)
(alarms powering down)
(grunts)
(panting)
(grunts)
(panting)
(moaning)
(beeping)
(buzzing and beeping)
FEMALE VOICE: Please put out the cigarette.
Once the cigarette has been extinguished,
the punishment will cease.
(screaming)
Please put out the cigarette.
Once the cigarette has been extinguished...
(buzzing)
(buzzing stops)
I don't want one.
I don't want a cigarette.
I have no desire to smoke.
Oh, I hate dreams.
I loathe and despise dreams.
(sniffs)
My favorite.
(clears throat)
Ah...
(chuckles)
Ah...
SYNAPSIS: Good morning, Mr. Bigalow.
Today, we're going to do a little work
on your addiction to caffeine.
(mug clattering)
A very promising beginning, Mr. Bigalow.
A very promising beginning.
NARRATOR: The dark side is always there.
Waiting for us to enter.
Waiting to enter us.
Until next time, try... to enjoy the daylight.